


Don't Make Me Lose Control

by Im_so_clumsy



Series: The Calm Before The Storm [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But there is mentions of sex, F/M, Not Actually Smut, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, it's the focus of this chapter, lots of emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_so_clumsy/pseuds/Im_so_clumsy
Summary: Wanda and Vision have been meeting in secret for months. Now Wanda is terrified she just ruined everything.





	Don't Make Me Lose Control

**Author's Note:**

> You don't necessarily have to read The Calm Before the Storm to read this but it does have a callback or two in there so if something feels like it should be emotional but is just confusing instead, that's probably why.
> 
> I _never_ expected to write anything with even mentions of sex and then I go and write this in one sitting.
> 
> So apparently these two just won't leave me alone. And, no, this isn't actually going to turn into a series I just didn't want to make TCBtS' rating go up but wanted to make it accessible if people wanted to read it.
> 
> I really need to stop posting things late at night. I ramble when I'm tired.

Wanda let out a slow breath and couldn’t bring herself to find out of if the moisture that fell down her cheeks was from her eyes or the cold shower she had been placed under. 

 

_Wanda, don’t take this the wrong way._

 

Wanda forced herself to focus on the cold water that flowed down her body. She had started to shiver a few minutes ago but had no desire to leave the biting spray. Instead Wanda tilted her head and allowed her hair to isolate her from the rest of the world. 

The day had started out perfectly, like it always did when the train he took was actually on time. She had missed him _so much_ \- she always did. Seeing his face (no longer strange but wonderfully familiar) light up with a smile when he noticed her. The tight hug they always shared just to prove they were- at last- together again. It had been perfect. 

Then they went home.

She had been in desperate need of a shower and he offered to cook her dinner. The words flew out of her mouth without her permission.

 

_I think I’m going to take a bath. I’m very tired, I might need some help._

 

She had gone into the bathroom with a smirk and wondered how long it would take him to take the hint. She had just settled into the almost-scalding water when the muffled sound of a pan dropping to the floor carried into the bathroom. It was a big step for them (making out had become pretty common but it was very tame) and doubt filled her when the minutes passed without his presence.

It felt like forever before he entered the room. She was as nervous as he was and they both checked and double-checked with each other that it was okay for him to get into the bathtub behind her. His hands ran up and down her arms like they normally did when they cuddled but it was different then, so different. 

Things moved surprisingly fast after that.

She pulled his mind to hers and his emotions slammed into her. The mind that was usually so organized and clam was chaotic and filled with desire and lust and a need to touch her anywhere she would let him. Her thoughts weren’t very different. He was strangely assertive as well as cautious. He took the lead on touching her (she would’ve been surprised if she had the ability to think straight) but always made sure it was okay before he moved forward. 

She ruined everything. 

She had begged for _something_ but couldn’t tell him what. She had _no idea_ what she needed, she just _needed. He_ figured it out (of course he did) and she didn’t actually remember moving from the bath to the bed but the memory of what he felt like inside her was still very clear.

Wanda shivered at the memories and turned the cold knob on the shower higher.

She had been _so close_ and so had _he_ and it was supposed to be so _amazing._ Instead… she panicked. 

Wanda knew that the water on her cheeks were tears.

He held her tightly and promised to never let her go. He told her that everything would be fine, that he had her, and that she just needed to let herself go. She must have continued to beg because he continued to assure her that he was there, that she was alright, that she just needed to relax and let it (whatever _it_ was) happen.

Then he stopped.

Wanda remembered his voice as he tried to calm her.

 

_Wanda. Wanda, look at me. Focus on me. Wanda, it’s alright. You’re alright._

_I know you want more, I know. It’s alright._

_No, we need to stop. It’s alright. You’re going to be fine. I’m here, Wanda, calm down. I’m not letting go, I promise._

 

She was filled with desire, it was all she could focus on. She almost missed his next words, and it was a few seconds before she understood them.

 

_Wanda, don’t take this the wrong way._

 

The cold water had been a shock to her system. A few choice Sokovian words flew from her mouth. His arms held her back to his chest as he explained that he heard cold showers could help with arousal. He stayed with her under the cold water for a few minutes because she asked, then insisted that his presence behind her in the shower probably defeated the purpose of it.

 

_It does now that you pointed it out._

 

He promised to be in the kitchen when she was ready. She then realized he had been just as aroused as she was.

Wanda had no idea how long she had been under the cold water but her fingers had started to go numb. She turned the water off and found a large soft towel hanging next to the shower.  
~~\o/~~  
Wanda walked out in jeans and an oversized shirt.

Vision was in the kitchen, as promised. He sat on the counter in his human disguise (but with his normal eyes) and held a steaming cup of tea in his hands.

Wanda hesitated at the entrance. “You drink tea now?” 

Vision smiled and allowed the distraction. “The smell is calming. The kettle’s still hot, would you like some?”

“I can get it,” she replied. Wanda watched as the tea bag caused the water to turn brown.

“Wanda-”

“You know you’re in my spot,” she remarked.

He tilted his head and moved over slightly. “There’s enough room for two?”

After a moment of hesitation she hopped on the counter and sat on his left side. Her eye focused on her tea and the way the light brown turned to black.

“Wanda-”

“I’m sorry.” She looked to him and felt the tears in her eyes. “Vhiz, I’m sorry.”

Vision frowned, forehead creasing. “What for?”

“For not…” she waved her hand in a shrug. 

The confusion remained on his face. “You need to be more specific, I have no idea what you want to apologize for.”

“For not…” Wanda let out a sharp breath. “For not finishing what I started.”

His irises showed he was thinking quickly. Vision cupped her cheek with his free hand.  
“Never apologize for that.” He shook his head. His tone held a finality to it as he continued. “You have no reason to apologize. None. You did nothing wrong, Wanda.” 

She removed his hand from her cheek. He intertwined their fingers before she could let go.

“I… You were…”

“I really don’t understand why sex is such an awkward subject.”

Wanda couldn’t stop the smile at his tone. His bluntness gave her courage.

“You were aroused.”

Vision didn’t seem to know how to respond. His brow furrowed and he frowned in his ‘I’m trying to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to say to that’ expression. Wanda didn’t know how she felt about it being turned on her. 

His response had confusion in his tone. “So were you.”

“You were more than me.”

“You don’t know that.” Vision’s hand squeezed hers. “For whatever reason you feel guilty about this- which is completely ridiculous- remember that I was the one to stop.”

“You felt you had to _because_ of me.”

“Yes; you’re not ready. That’s a perfectly good reason.”

“I _want_ this.”

“I know. That doesn’t mean you’re ready. Which is completely fine. Honestly had this come up the last time we were together I probably would’ve phased through the floor in terror.” 

Wanda hesitated. “What changed?” 

Vision shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not sure if anything has.”

“I do want this,” she repeated. Her eyes focused on her tea. “I don’t know what happened.”

“I do.” 

Wanda’s head shot up.

“Part of an orgasm is losing control. I should’ve realized how you were reacting and stopped sooner. I was actually going to apologize to _you._ ”

“Vhiz, you couldn’t-”

“I know you well enough to know that you’re terrified of losing control.” His eyes held hers. “Because in the past every time you did something bad happened. You’re not ready to risk losing control, no matter how much I assure you nothing bad will happen. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Wanda’s eyes filled with new tears. What did she do to deserve this man? He knew her so well. Cared about her so much.

 

_Wanda._

_Everything._

_I fail to hear the difference._

 

“Promise me something,” Vision requested.

“What?” 

He set his tea down and pulled his hand from hers to cup her face.

“If something like this happens again… Don’t apologize. Don’t even let the idea cross your mind.”

“Vhiz-”

“Wanda, promise me.”

Wanda nodded slowly. “I promise.”

“Good.” He lowered his head and placed a slow, chaste kiss on her lips. “Now, I need to apologize to you.” 

He took one of her hands in both of his.

“For what? Vhiz, you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“Actually I completely ruined your dinner. It fell on the floor and it was the only food in the apartment. Once again, you’re stuck with delivery or take out.”

Wanda let her head fall to his chest with a grin. “I love you, Vhiz.” 

He kissed the top of her head and brought his arms around her. “And I love you, Wanda.” 

She sat up. “I’ve never told you that before.”

Vision frowned thoughtfully. “Yes you have.”

“No,” she shook her head. “We’ve never said that to each other.”

“Well, not with words,” he conceded. “Do you not count all of those times we felt each other’s emotions?”

“No, of course I do. It’s just… nice to say it out loud.” 

“And nice to hear it?”

She nodded. 

“I love you, Wanda Maximoff.” He flinched when her arms wrapped around him. “Wanda you’re incredibly cold.” 

“You’re the one who put me in a freezing cold shower,” she retorted. “How long was I in there anyway?”

“An hour. And it was necessary.”

She looked up. “I’m surprised you let me stay in a cold shower for an hour.”

“I assumed you turned the water warmer at some point,” he said with mild exasperation. Vision slid off the counter and turned to her. “Wanda, you need to warm up. I’ll get you a blanket.” 

Wanda followed Vision with her eyes while he went to the closet and wondered if things would ever be the same after what happened. If they would be okay.

Her mind reached out to his and felt his relief when their minds connected.

His mind was calm and ordered like before. His thoughts were focused on getting her warm and figuring out if she would let him lie in bed with her like they had been doing for a while.

_‘I always sleep better in your arms.’_

Vision looked to her and smiled. Then it fell slightly and a river of concern flowed from him. _‘Have you been having trouble? Is it the nightmares again?’_

Wanda smiled back. 

They’d be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I was wondering what their first time would be like, then this just sort of... happened. The idea got into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. 
> 
> Also, if anyone makes you feel guilty about not being ready for whatever step in a relationship; dump them. No matter how amazing they make you feel, not being ready or wanting to wait is _not_ something to feel guilty about. _Ever_. If he/she/they actually care about you they will respect that not make you second-guess yourself.
> 
> I don't think there should be trigger warnings, but if so let me know.


End file.
